Growing up Mom

Xam has just turned 1 year and 8 months old yesterday and I seem to notice a lot of unlikely attitude and behavior growing... in me not him.

It's so natural to read or hear stories of babies growing up differently of their age from stage 0 to stage N. More often than not would we hear most mothers saying that it gets so hard being a mom everyday as their kids grow. Others would tell that they enjoy moment by moment of time with their children. Some would be as proud to tell of having managed challenging days without seeking from an experienced or an expert, or goggling all day to find answers.

When it looks to be like so simple, I haven't adjusted to it very well yet. What I do know and would want to create in me as a mom is a state of mind and heart that I am not dealing with a same-age person as mine. And that I have a responsibility over this person for him to grow up not having heard so much of high-pitched tunes of scolding but a restful heart to understand what has been realized to them.

I have always been reminding myself of being patient and accepting since the time Xam learned how to explore things and experimenting these stuffs to work. Because during these times, I often feel a lot of extra energy going out from me and it doesn't seem to help me fulfill my other tasks at home. Being in an average family, with no household helper to do the cleaning and washing and doing errands, I really have to progress when it comes to multi-tasking.

My weekend routine has suddenly changed when Xam's daily activities have also shifted. My supposed to be spare hours spent for keeping the house organized have all been added up to looking after my adventurous son. But however I try to ease myself at that, I still can't keep my eyes off the disturbing messy corners of the house. At this point, I had to activate my extra skill to multi-task of watching over Xam going around while keeping eyesores out of sight. Yet, I'm still not good at it or maybe I engage myself too much until I forgot I still have to run after his every move. Like one time, I hassle so much cleaning the sala set that I didn't realize I'm not hearing any prompting sound from Xam at all until I saw him demonstrably pouring a pouch of my soya milk into the couch. I blurted out loud that it scares him and made him ran to his lola for comfort and cover.

I admit I forgot I made an affirmation and later felt the guilt while looking at Xam fiercefully crying on mom's shoulder he can't even look at me. Then I realize that this couldn't have happened if I put my milk in the storage area.

There are few more instances when I behaved I am not what I like to see myself as a parent to Xam. And it kept me reminding myself that I should be more affirmative to my commitment.


MOM'S STANDPOINT

As a parent, no matter how provoking the situation is, when it comes to disciplining our children, we should always give ourselves a space, a pause to remember our affirmation of love and understanding, before the bloodrush occur. We had a control, believe me. We just need to prepare and practice. We always have a lot of choices when it comes to dealing with our children. And you know what? What keeps us from choosing is also a choice.

Our Best Protection to Our Children

It's been a long 7-month lag when I'm supposed to give a whim-wham and shots of this not-so-ordinary life of mine. While I was reading my previous posts, I realized I'm being nautical of what should be me as a mom and what I'm expecting from Xam as a person that I forgot that it's more important to share the process more than the result (although most of us wants to hear the ending of the story). Bottomline is I was too much of an anticipant.

Meanwhile, I'm composing myself with a cup of coffee to regain stimulation and pick up and give a run-through of what was left behind my stories.

This is a very gloomy day to start with yet hoping for vitalized nerves to activate and finish to-do list for today.

Going back, (please let me start this week then I will try to summarize the 7 months in the next several posts) Xam had a Tuberculin test last Saturday to check whether or not he is already treated from primary complex as he is finishing his 6-month treatment this June. Mom and Dad took him back to the clinic yesterday for the result and thank God it turned negative so he just needs to finish of what is left in the 2 bottles of the Refam Duo medicine he's been taking since December.

At last we're free from fussy and messy mornings, and most importantly, from fear of Xam taking too much chemicals from these medicines that could later harm (hope not) his system. I was all along very cautious of what food and medicine to give him because of his deficiency and yet, I have still have no control of other environment-induced illnesses, even if vaccines are already available for almost all types of children-related diseases.

As a mom, I always make sure Xam is protected to the common stresses in children like cough, colds and flu, especially nowadays when the AH1N1 virus scare is spreading. I make sure he takes his regular Vitamin C daily in the morning and the appetite-boosting Propan in the evening before bedtime. He'll be vaccinated for dreaded flu on Saturday and will update other vaccines and boosters for the next scheduled months.


MOM'S STANDPOINT

While we are after insusceptibility of our children to diseases, we must start with their protection. It's perfectly okay to let them explore their surroundings as some doctors say that this is one way they will acquire their immunity. Yet they need more of shield and follow-through advises of what to do to protect themselves while we're not after them to look out. For me, this is the best protection we can give to them as they grow up so they consequently understand the do's and dont's and what is harmful and what is safe to them.